Yes, Let Me Admit & Tell You Why I May Watch a Christmas Special

I don't celebrate Christmas.  I'm not a Christian.  I'm not a Muslim, or Jew, or a practitioner of any organized form of spiritual worship.  Christmas in industrialized capitalist countries, of course, has nothing to do with the birth of Jesus beyond the name meaning a Mass for Christ, or the birth of Christ.  The capitalists wanted to make this holiday so much about spending your hard earned money with them that they even organized to make the holiday commemorated on December 25th, the end of the year, despite overwhelming evidence that Jesus wasn't born anytime close to December.  What this month does do for capitalists is provide the largest shopping environment at the end of the calendar year, providing capitalism with a dependable revenue boost at the end of the year.

So, I don't celebrate Christmas, either the spiritual part or the secular spend money Christmas.  I haven't done so going on 40 years.  My thirty one year old daughter has never celebrated Christmas in her entire life.  And, despite having to endure endless accusations that we were ruining her by "denying" her a made up holiday with another great European man as the savior, she's turned out just fine.  

I honestly believe that I attempt to live by the revolutionary principles of the movement I live my life by with as much dedication and commitment as any religious person gives to their faith.  So, despite how unbelievable it is for those people who have been conditioned to believe their Western Judeo/Christian values are the core values from which the Globe balances upon, December 25th, like every other imperialist holiday, is just another day for me.  No decorations.  No presents.  No large meals.  In fact, if all goes my way next week, I'll spend most of the day continuing to place finishing touches on my latest novel.  Maybe do GrubHub or something for my meal that day.  We'll see.  That will be it.

I do experience some struggle with Christmas though.  For example, I do like to watch the animated Christmas specials and all the work I've done on my emotional health has helped me understand why.  When I was a child I always felt like I had no stability and no place, anywhere, ever.  As a result of that trauma, I became really good at escapism fantasy.  That's the reason becoming a fiction writer was a logical result for me.  People always ask me if I ever struggle to find ideas to write about.  Every time they ask that question, before giving me a chance to answer, they explain that they find it extremely difficult to organize their thoughts to engage in any type of comprehensive writing.  I never want to discourage them so I never say much when asked, but the truth is I always have creative ideas to write about.  I do because I've spent my entire life figuring out how to develop those ideas.  When I was little, escaping into my own world was my way to protect myself.  At least that's how I saw it.  "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer", you know, the one narrated by Burl Ives, and all the others like it, I loved them!  And, today, despite the evolution of my revolutionary consciousness and practice, I still find a smile coming to my face when I come across one of those specials.  When I was much newer to this political movement and struggle, I used to be very ashamed of this.  I would hide it and I certainly would never have admitted that I would "abandon" my revolutionary principles for one hour here and there to watch an animated Christmas special.

As I've gotten older and more mature, I've come to understand there is no contradiction here that I need to be concerned about.  The same way a ride on Disneyland's "Peter Pan Adventure" generated a smile on my face when I did so two months ago, those television specials provide me the opportunity to return to my youth for a moment.  Since I view much of my youth as having been stolen from me, I have learned to truly appreciate being able to reclaim those moments.  Even if I'm only doing so momentarily in my mind.

So, despite the fact I don't celebrate the capitalist consumer holiday known as Christmas, which has very little to do with the birth of Christ, I still look forward to December each year.  I realize now that it represented the potential for what I hoped would be.  Could be.  For me and my family.  And, as I think about it more and more, I realize that's the entire objective of how capitalism does its holidays.  These days are all about getting us to believe in this society.  In other words, holidays in this capitalist society are designed to serve as propaganda mechanisms for the system.  And, they have figured out a way to make it profitable in the process.  A great process for them, but the fact December, especially during the so-called latter holiday portion of the month, is the time of year when most people kill themselves, reminds us there's other more important things happening right now.  Clearly, the joy of the season misses a whole lot of people when you don't have the money to play, the mental health to participate, or the conditions to engage.

So many people have moved towards having people focused gatherings this next week.  I think these social sessions are great ideas to help alienated people connect on people's levels while being able to avoid the pressure to have money and buy things.  Me, as I said, I'm fine with being by myself or with extremely close people in my life during these so-called holidays.  I just prefer to stay away from the push to participate.  I've tried it.  I've gone to dinners, etc., but I was always forced to do things I'm not comfortable with.  No thanks.  Instead, use the time when people are so focused on all the drama to take care of yourself.  To reflect.  To think about how you can implement the things you want to do in 2019 to move yourself further towards reaching your full potential as a human being.

I watched one special this season and if I'm fortunate, I'll run across another one or two before next Tuesday.  They help me recall the time when I was about seven and my physically disabled and illiterate aunt was telling me, when no else could hear, that I could talk to our dog at midnight on Christmas Eve, Christmas day, and our dog would talk back.  You had to know my aunt.  All she ever knew was Louisiana produced fire and brimstone religion so she believed what she was telling me as much as you believe you need to breath oxygen to live.  I tried the talking at midnight thing a couple of times with a couple of different dogs, but the dogs just stared at me.  And, like everything else in my youth, I thought the problem was I was doing it wrong.

I get to watch those shows and recall all those memories now because I know it was never about any problems with me.  That knowledge strengthens me and helps me prepare for the days after the so-called holidays when my resolve, commitment, and determination will need to be as focused as ever to ensure I can make my best contributions in 2019 to our forward progress for peace and justice.