Sacramento, Calif; Round Two & The Strange Differences This Time

I currently live in Sacramento, California, U.S., the sixth largest city in the largest state within the U.S.  Sacramento is nestled in between the world famous city of San Francisco (from wence I hail) and the breathtaking Sierra Nevada, the home of Lake Tahoe.  This city stands with the San Joaquin Valley, one of the largest food producing regions in the world, just minutes to the South.  Sacramento's the capitol city of California with one of the most racially diverse populations anywhere.  The metropolitan area is slightly over 1 million people with Africans, Asians, Indigenous people (Latinos/Natives, etc.), and Europeans each accounting for no less than about 15% of the state's population.  

I resided in Sacramento from August, 1981, until January, 2007.  That's 26 years.  Then, after a 10 year experience living in Oregon, I returned to Sacramento in March of 2017.  I've been back here two years this month.  Based on the numbers I've just recited, I've spent half my life living in Sacramento so I think that warrants some type of assessment of this place, especially since returning here in 2017.  

Demographically and geographically, Sacramento has changed a lot in some areas and is still basically the same in others.  I still love all of the outdoor opportunities here although I'm sure most of my Oregon people would turn their noses up to many elements of it.  Sacramento is a dry person's dream for the most part.  The climate here is warm, very warm in the summer months and rain, besides the consistency of it this winter, is not a common occurrence here.  So, we don't come close to the lushness that is common place everywhere in Oregon.  Still, I like it.  I have tons of spots throughout the Sacramento Valley that I have extensive history escaping to.  I've studied, relaxed, contemplated, reflected, and done a lot of soul gratifying work in those areas.  After being gone 10 years, once I hit up some of those places for the first time since returning, I enjoyed positive emotional reunions.  One of the worst experiences I had previously in Sacramento was extensive allergies.  And, to be honest, much of that was my fault because I chose, because of my aversion to taking medicines, to just suffer through it.  Once I returned two years ago, I thought about how I did not wish to experience that torture again.  So, I developed a nature plan based around bee honey and a morning ritual that made last spring easily the best spring I ever had here.  I'm already on top of that process again for 2019.  So, I anticipate having another victorious spring this year as well.

That leaves me with what else has changed for the worse.  And, as can already be imagined, those elements exist within the social/political realm.  During my previous 26 years here I organized face to ground for the All African People's Revolutionary Party every day.  I built and maintained numerous relationships that extended from the radical African nationalist community to the petti bourgeoisie African community to the radical European, Indigenous, Arab, and Asian communities.  During those years, my interpretation of doing revolutionary work was to try and do everything I could to help people understand who we were and what we are doing.  In the course of that, I made incredible sacrifices.  Painful sacrifices.  The sacrifices are fine.  That's just a part of revolutionary work, but what I didn't know how to better manage before was the extent to which I was savagely taken advantage of by many people e.g. exploiting and taking for granted my labor and efforts.  This isn't uncommon for revolutionaries engaged in organizing work.  Our work won't ever help people achieve any of their bourgeoisie inspired personal objectives so we are never going to  be the priority for many people in this society.  We are never going to be worthy of respect from them, but they have no issue using us if it can help them in any way.  A great example of this is stories I've been told about Fred Hampton in the Illinois Black Panther Party and how people like Jesse Jackson used Hampton's organizing skill and popularity to advance Jackson's program while dissing and dismissing Hampton and his work whenever possible.  That's a theme that rings painfully true.  On some levels I understood how I was permitting this to happen, but it wasn't until I practiced testing how to interact with people like this during my time in Oregon (of course, this problem was a major reason why I wanted a change of locale in the first place).  By the time I returned in 2017, I had learned some things.  

I've always had great faith in people.  If someone tells me they want to help our people and/or humanity, I believe them until they prove otherwise.  This contrasts with lots of people who have given in to the capitalist directive that you cannot trust anyone e.g. people have to prove themselves to you before you will trust them, which essentially means you won't ever trust them.  To me, doing work designed to transform society is not possible if you don't have faith in people.  So, I'm proud to have this disposition, but I've learned how to manage it so I'm not taken advantage of.

What I'm saying in essence is many people here have learned that the old "do anything to support you Ahjamu (despite the fact you do nothing to support our work)" is gone.  Consequently, this has resulted in many people, who I've known and worked with for years.  Who I thought I had strong relationships with, basically acting as if they don't know me.  At first, this was painful.  I can admit that.  As I thought more about it, I began to realize that the issue was I didn't really have healthy relationships with a lot of people like I should.  People will always treat you the way you train them to treat you.  So I've changed.  Before, when something like Stephon Clark being killed had happened here, and people called me to come out, I went out and tried to plug myself in anyway I could to support what was happening, despite the fact I didn't agree at all with what was happening (not my politics).  And, I mean I would make contributions to their work.  Often, better contributions than people who did agree with what was happening.  Now, when people urge me to go out to police stations to protest, I don't go. And, I explain to them why I won't go.  I've learned that doing this won't endear you with many people, despite whatever work you've done over the years.  I've also learned that its ok for me to refuse to permit my resources, which are not small, to be used for people who won't help me do the work that's important to me.  That too won't win you any popularity contests.  For example, I've learned to require a fee to use my sound equipment, when I used to always let people use it, and my labor to transport and set up/take down, for free.  After doing that for an event that was homophobic and patriarchal, I pledged never to let that happen again.  So, I require a fee.  Not because its about money, but because I know that once I say that, they won't bother me anymore.  And since everyone is trained by capitalist values, if they agree to the fee, and I follow through, I've learned people will respect you that way.  That dysfunctional way.  

So, these changes have caused my relationship to people here to change.  I'm not nearly as popular here as I was previously.  And, I'm perfectly fine with that because the attention before wasn't for healthy reasons.  I am retired from being people's pit bull to sic on the forces they are not equipped to argue with.  I've developed a much healthier respect for myself and the work that I engage in.  

I don't even approach organizing A-APRP work study circles the same way I used to when I was here before.  Now, if you want to join, you will need to demonstrate your seriousness.  That has certainly weeded out the pretenders.  And, trust me, I know the difference between those who just need time to develop and the pretenders.  

Whereas I used to be at anything African in this town, I rarely attend any of those things anymore.  And believe me, I don't miss it.  I guess I've reached the point where I am more than a little tired of always being in environments I don't agree with.  Being a revolutionary Pan-Africanist, I recognize that my ability to be in those spaces isn't going to change anytime soon.  And, if I wish to organize, I will need to figure out a methodology to do so in a way that upholds and doesn't compromise my beliefs.  That's the part I'm working on now.  I'll figure this out.  I always do.  

In the meantime, I'm really enjoying organizing in and instructing in the Pan-African Saturday School here in Sacramento.  I'm also enjoying focusing so much energy into writing political pieces for our central A-APRP site, for this blog, and for publication as books, etc.  I also am liking getting the opportunity to do workshops on revolutionary organizing.  I really want to expand the ability to do workshops on community defense building.  And, I'd also like to continue working with people to help them in building that work.  Meanwhile, I'll continue writing the community defense manual I'm currently working on that explains how to build community defense projects to compliment the work we are doing in Africa to support our vision for Pan-Africanism as articulated in Kwame Nkrumah's "Handbook of Revolutionary Warfare" or organizing manual as an organization.  And the beauty of these self defense models is African people can build them and we can show other people how to build them also.  Still, people will need to demonstrate to me they are serious before I'll initially extend a lot of resources their way.  That's the approach the ancestors have been badgering me with for years.  Now that I'm finally learning how to listen to them, I'm much more at peace with myself.  And, a lot of that is because I'm not wasting a lot of my valuable time like I used too.  My organizing these days is much more efficient and much more effective.  That means I could have time this weekend to take that writing retreat weekend I have put off since finishing my last novel.  After two years back here, I'm finally at a place of readjustment where I'm ready for that.  There are so many spots I can camp out at around here where I won't freeze to death.  Just that thought alone is really exciting for me, regardless of what anyone else feels about it.  And the fact I've learned that lesson, is the most gratifying aspect of them all.