Its that time again, Friday night, the favorite time of the week for anyone who slaves Monday through Friday within the capitalist system, anywhere. For a lot of people in my position, living alone, some disposable income to work with, the assumption is that Friday nights would represent the gateway to the weekend warrior lifestyle. At least some of the time, right?
Or, its that time reserved for when you can spend quality minutes with that special person right? Well, fortunately, some weekends are reserved for the latter, but logistical conditions (that's all you need know about my personal/private life thank you) prohibit that from happening all the time. Also, there's the issue of me being a introvert. For those who only know me through these writings or other levels of my political work, that's a statement they find hard to believe because their connection to me is maybe me leading a group, speaking in front of crowds, facilitating a workshop, etc. I do all of those things, but not because I relish being the center of attention. I do them because whether I'm good or bad at it, I'm determined to answer Franz Fanon's call that I fulfill my historical mission to battle tooth and nail against this backward system with everything I've got. That doesn't mean that when I have any time to myself I'm running around actively seeking personal attention. Its the quite the opposite actually. Over the years I've found that organizing requires that you contribute quite a bit of your personal self to this work. Quite a bit that you contribute that many times comes back in less than positive ways. In other words, the saying "no good deed goes unpunished" was coined I'm sure by a revolutionary organizer somewhere. That's often our life and so when you have your own time, at least this is true for me, I've slowly learned to respect and appreciate it. And, since I don't get high or drink, that eliminates many of those social opportunities anyway. People doing those things don't invite you which is perfectly fine for me because I enjoy sitting around people doing those things about as much as I enjoy watching FOX news which is 0 in case you miss the humor. Absolutely nothing against anyone doing whatever they feel they want to do. Its just not my idea of fun. Not that I'm adverse to night clubs and bars. I actually really enjoy singing karaoke (did it last night) and dancing, but I'm selective in where I go because I'm not the dude to be tolerant around people who have consumed too much or to micro-aggressive racist behavior. So, since I don't want to send anymore people to the hospital than I already have, and I don't want to interact with the capitalist injustice system anymore than I have, I'm very selective in this area. Besides, most night clubs these days do nothing except play this current day crappy stuff that is supposed to pass as music. You know, the stuff that has the most simplistic beat so that anyone, especially those who are rhythmically challenged, can pretend that they are dancing to it. Now, a place that plays old school music, the sounds that motivated people to come out because they wanted to actually dance, not just stand in the middle of the floor and drink, that's a place I could go, but unfortunately, those places are few and far in between.
So, if you add up all of those variables, most of my Friday nights are going to consist of alternative activities like night bike rides (which I love, I'm taking a break from one right now), and lots of writing, which I'm obviously also doing right now. For lots of people that may sound like the poster version of a boring life, but throw in those weekends when I do connect with significant people and a good book every month, and I'm living ghetto fabulous within this format. And, with the consistent and high degree of stress that a life committed to transforming the forces of production requires, using my Friday nights to do what makes me happy (and yes, nights like tonight definitely do that), is something I've come to learn how to prioritize in recent years. Yes, to all of that along with the fact that I absolutely know the difference between being alone and being lonely. I'm alone right this moment, but I'm not at all lonely. I have good people plugged into my life that I spend quality time when it fits and I have my Friday nights like tonight where I'm perfectly content to spend it alone. I've got my message I want to transmit to you. I've got the Spinners singing "One of a Kind" into my ears. I've got the ancestors who speak to me every moment of every second I spend on this earth. I couldn't be in a better mood right now.
The moral to this story is not that you have to do what I do or live your life as I do. If that's what you think you clearly don't know me or understand anything about what I'm doing here. The point here is that if you are going to outlast this energy sapping, morale destroying, spiritually killing, backward, anti-human, capitalist system, you better learn how to define your life in a way that permits you to develop and maintain healthy ways to nurture yourself. Because, in case you didn't notice, this system is killing us. So, we are trying to fight back while maintaining our sanity. Choose your weapons carefully people. You may not understand mine, but one thing is for sure, they work for me and that's all that matters because that tells you I'll be here fighting and fighting strong for as long as I'm able. And, while I'm striking blows, I'd like to be able to look around and see you next to me because no matter what this cesspool society is telling you, you matter. I'll be feeling that within myself while I wrap this up and start peddling back across town with P-Funk playing "Not Just Knee Deep" live bumping in my ear. That's about as good as I'll ever need it.
Or, its that time reserved for when you can spend quality minutes with that special person right? Well, fortunately, some weekends are reserved for the latter, but logistical conditions (that's all you need know about my personal/private life thank you) prohibit that from happening all the time. Also, there's the issue of me being a introvert. For those who only know me through these writings or other levels of my political work, that's a statement they find hard to believe because their connection to me is maybe me leading a group, speaking in front of crowds, facilitating a workshop, etc. I do all of those things, but not because I relish being the center of attention. I do them because whether I'm good or bad at it, I'm determined to answer Franz Fanon's call that I fulfill my historical mission to battle tooth and nail against this backward system with everything I've got. That doesn't mean that when I have any time to myself I'm running around actively seeking personal attention. Its the quite the opposite actually. Over the years I've found that organizing requires that you contribute quite a bit of your personal self to this work. Quite a bit that you contribute that many times comes back in less than positive ways. In other words, the saying "no good deed goes unpunished" was coined I'm sure by a revolutionary organizer somewhere. That's often our life and so when you have your own time, at least this is true for me, I've slowly learned to respect and appreciate it. And, since I don't get high or drink, that eliminates many of those social opportunities anyway. People doing those things don't invite you which is perfectly fine for me because I enjoy sitting around people doing those things about as much as I enjoy watching FOX news which is 0 in case you miss the humor. Absolutely nothing against anyone doing whatever they feel they want to do. Its just not my idea of fun. Not that I'm adverse to night clubs and bars. I actually really enjoy singing karaoke (did it last night) and dancing, but I'm selective in where I go because I'm not the dude to be tolerant around people who have consumed too much or to micro-aggressive racist behavior. So, since I don't want to send anymore people to the hospital than I already have, and I don't want to interact with the capitalist injustice system anymore than I have, I'm very selective in this area. Besides, most night clubs these days do nothing except play this current day crappy stuff that is supposed to pass as music. You know, the stuff that has the most simplistic beat so that anyone, especially those who are rhythmically challenged, can pretend that they are dancing to it. Now, a place that plays old school music, the sounds that motivated people to come out because they wanted to actually dance, not just stand in the middle of the floor and drink, that's a place I could go, but unfortunately, those places are few and far in between.
So, if you add up all of those variables, most of my Friday nights are going to consist of alternative activities like night bike rides (which I love, I'm taking a break from one right now), and lots of writing, which I'm obviously also doing right now. For lots of people that may sound like the poster version of a boring life, but throw in those weekends when I do connect with significant people and a good book every month, and I'm living ghetto fabulous within this format. And, with the consistent and high degree of stress that a life committed to transforming the forces of production requires, using my Friday nights to do what makes me happy (and yes, nights like tonight definitely do that), is something I've come to learn how to prioritize in recent years. Yes, to all of that along with the fact that I absolutely know the difference between being alone and being lonely. I'm alone right this moment, but I'm not at all lonely. I have good people plugged into my life that I spend quality time when it fits and I have my Friday nights like tonight where I'm perfectly content to spend it alone. I've got my message I want to transmit to you. I've got the Spinners singing "One of a Kind" into my ears. I've got the ancestors who speak to me every moment of every second I spend on this earth. I couldn't be in a better mood right now.
The moral to this story is not that you have to do what I do or live your life as I do. If that's what you think you clearly don't know me or understand anything about what I'm doing here. The point here is that if you are going to outlast this energy sapping, morale destroying, spiritually killing, backward, anti-human, capitalist system, you better learn how to define your life in a way that permits you to develop and maintain healthy ways to nurture yourself. Because, in case you didn't notice, this system is killing us. So, we are trying to fight back while maintaining our sanity. Choose your weapons carefully people. You may not understand mine, but one thing is for sure, they work for me and that's all that matters because that tells you I'll be here fighting and fighting strong for as long as I'm able. And, while I'm striking blows, I'd like to be able to look around and see you next to me because no matter what this cesspool society is telling you, you matter. I'll be feeling that within myself while I wrap this up and start peddling back across town with P-Funk playing "Not Just Knee Deep" live bumping in my ear. That's about as good as I'll ever need it.
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