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Do You Feel Folks Close to You Don't Embrace Your Achievements?

6/17/2019

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Especially for those folks who have done things that don't happen with everyone e.g. initiated some outstanding organizing projects that empower people?  Written and published revolutionary music, screen plays, books, paintings, etc?  Traveled extensively and engaged in work to build up people throughout the world?  I mention revolutionary work because that work is never going be recognized by this capitalist power structure.  That's a critical piece of this analysis because the overwhelming majority of people are trained to respond to everything based on that thing's connection to the power structure.  If the power structure acknowledges it, then to most people, it has legitimacy.  If the power structure doesn't acknowledge it, then to most people its not valid.  Since revolutionary art and achievements are never acknowledged by the state those works are designed to discredit, most people are not trained to recognize that category of work as legitimate.  So, for those of you who have worked hard to have the types of accomplishments indicated above, the question is how much do the people close to you in your life acknowledge and celebrate your contributions?

By celebrate I mean how aware of your accomplishments are the people close to you?  How do they react to your accomplishments?  Do they support you and your work?  And, by people close to you I mean the people who tell you they care about you and are there for you as human beings whether biological or ideological families, friends, co-workers, etc.?

My guess is going to be most people who produce this type of work are going to experience that most people close to them are generally not overwhelmingly supportive and active in their work.  Of course, there are always exceptions, but for the most part, I'm betting this is universally true.

The reasons for this phenomenon are layered.  Everyone is programmed 24/7 in this society.  That programming directs us to steer absolutely clear of anything challenging the status quo.  We are reinforced with the thinking that doing that is tantamount to desiring to live in the devil's hell.  Avoid it at all costs.  Any values, principles, themes for justice, all must go out the window when confronted with facing off this power structure.  This conditioning is so consistent that its subtle at this point.  Most people are completely unaware of it.  So, when you raise up work that challenges the status quo, we are trained to recognize the challenge immediately while being oblivious to any concrete information about what we are reacting to.  That's the reason the best strategy to challenge anyone arguing against you with a reactionary position is to ask them repeated questions about their position (instead of arguing with them about yours).  The more questions posed, the quicker it becomes clear there is not real understanding of the issue.  As it relates to how people close to use react, we are just conditioned to react with caution against anything that challenges the status quo vision.  That's one thing.

The next issue is the capitalist system works overtime to convince us that we are simple commodities.  People are to be bought and sold like any other material item.  These barbarians have even offered what they think the average cost is for a human being.  The reduction of human beings down to items has created a cultural component where people's confidence is completely eroded and people have no faith or trust in other people.  This is the reality because if you accept that we are commodities, then you cannot see us as having specific value that supersedes that of any product for sale.  There is no greater destroyer of personal confidence than that of dehumanizing people and making them into no more than things.  And, if we have no respect or value in ourselves, we are incapable of having those values for other people.  What these dynamics do is create a reality where it becomes very difficult for people, even those close to you, to see the value in the work you are doing.  Since everyone is programmed to see everything as a means to an end, then if people cannot see a profitability model in the work you are doing, they don't understand why you are doing it.  And, many people will conclude that your reason for doing it has be linked to some unstated profit objective that you are carrying out.  Therefore, you are really conducting a scam so they cannot trust it.  This conclusion is inevitable if people see everything as a means to an end and if they see people as commodities.

Finally, the above dynamics make it very difficult for people to express genuine support for you when they themselves feel marginalized, disrespected, and unappreciated.  This is going to be true even with the people you deem the closest to you in your life.

The end result is the capitalist system is the culprit behind this dehumanization.  Its just that the folks who are producing content that challenges that narrative are the people who are going to see first the reactions that their work generates.  Your family, friends, etc., are so caught up in survival and trying to hang onto their humanity, that there's no time for them to analyze the messages you are promoting in your work.  There are exceptions.  I've been fortunate to accomplish quite a bit in my life.  After some initial years of fear driven caution, my parents came around to become ardent supporters of my revolutionary work.  Their support grew to become unconditional.  And, the fact they are both gone now still haunts me because I have felt that the unconditional faith and respect they grew to exhibit in my work I've gone without for the most part since their departure.  Certainly, there are a few others who have grown in that area, but most of the people who consider themselves close to me I believe have trouble grasping my work.  I'm talking about people I have known for years, decades.  Those people; who I know have to be aware that I've published books, co-founded important organizations and resources for our people, and travel and work to improve our people's destiny.  Those people have said absolutely nothing to me about any of it over the years.  Since they don't bring it up, I don't either because I struggle with talking about myself to the extent of criminal neglect of my work.  Still, I know that if any of those people produce any accomplishment, I would not hesitate to express my support for their work.  I also know that I would do that because I possess a great degree of personal confidence and self comfort that I know so many people struggle with.  

Its the above that reminds me of the necessity to be patient.  My own daughter never had much of anything to say to be about my work for years.  I know that much of that was because to her, I was just her dad.  Not the revolutionary organizer/activist/writer.  She didn't ask about my books, nothing.  I didn't take it personal because I don't believe any of it is personal.  One day, she started asking me questions about my political work.  Specific questions about the work happening in my world now because she grew up within the context of the work.  Her questions increased and now she's talking about organizing book events for me.  So, its not personal.  I believe its all of the capitalist factors indicated above.  That's 80% of it, but there are people close to you, who believe they love you to the best of their abilities, who just find it difficult to root for people.  Those folks in that category are so fired upon by capitalist exploitation, humiliation, and trauma, that they just struggle to see anyone's accomplishments as anything beyond just a stab against them because of what they have struggled to try and accomplishment, yet haven't.  Even this cannot be taken personal.  People are doing the absolute best they can with the little they have to work with.

If you are going to do revolutionary work, particularly work that penetrates beyond the small revolutionary organizing circles (and if you are seriously doing this type of work this should always be your objective), you are just going to have to figure out how to prepare yourself to be thick-skinned.  I find that its helpful for you to spend plenty of time thinking through the reasons why you do the work you do (because the people stuck in the hating realm are very good at finding all sorts of reasons to question your intentions).  So steel yourself in your reasons and stand strong behind your principles.  In doing that, you must accept that you will encounter resistance and doing this isn't going to bring these people close to you any truer, but it will strengthen you to be able to withstand the realities you have to face.  This is just the stage that we are at.  I embrace my role within it and I am confident that one day, maybe even after I'm gone, people will be able to express that they apprecaited all I was trying to do was make a contribution towards peace.

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    I don't see disagreement as a negative because I understand that Frederick Douglass was correct when he said "there is no progress without struggle."  Our brains are muscles.  Just like any other muscle in our body if we don't stress it and push it, the brain will not improve.  Or, as a bumper sticker I saw once put it, "If you can't change your mind, how do you know it's there?"

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